Lost For You
by Kite kcc
Summary: Takes place after the OAVs -- Naota goes off to look for Mamimi. ~completed!~
1. Prelude: In a Boy's Dream

The International Summer Schools ****

Lost For You

A Furi Kuri Fan Fiction

by: Kite (kcc)

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Disclaimers: 

Rights to Furi Kuri belong to Tsurumaki Kazuya and Gainax.

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Spoiler Warnings:

If you haven't seen the OAV, then don't read this. This is my take on what happens after.

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Note:

Words in italics = emphasis

Phrases and sentences in italics = thoughts

***

****

Prelude: 

In a Boy's Dream

It was the summer of the year I turned twelve.

My brother, Tasuku was going to America to play baseball.

Take care of her for me. That's what he said as he handed me a Polaroid and an address scribbled on a torn edge of some newspaper.

I looked at the photograph of the girl and wondered why my brother was asking me to do this -- as though she was some stray kitten that was being passed around.

But seventeen year-old Samejima Mamimi was no stray kitten -- she was my brother's girlfriend and, in a few days, she was going to be my... what?

She was beautiful. Even through the unforgiving lens of a Polaroid camera, with only half her face in the picture, I knew she was beautiful. 

Then again, my brother only dated the beautiful ones. 

Mamimi was different, though. Her eyes were, at once, melancholic and thoughtful. Clear, innocent, soulful eyes, hiding a mystery begging to be solved.

On his last night in Japan, my brother gave me a thumbs-up and winked. This is the year you become a man.

He knew I wouldn't understand; didn't expect me to understand.

He didn't care if I did or didn't.

***

I met her for the first time at the airport. She stood there, leaning on a pillar -- a slim, unlit cigarette pressed between her pale lips.

Summer vacation began last week, and yet she was wearing her high school uniform.

She neither spoke nor waved goodbye to him. 

She stood there, leaning on the pillar and waited for my brother to board the plane.

"So, what do you want to do now?"

Amidst the thunderous roar of the turbine engines, her voice -- that soft, feather-like whisper reached me.

She took the cigarette out of her mouth and flicked it into a nearby trash can. She reached out, grasped my hand and laced her fingers through mine.

"Ta-kun, what do you want to do?"

__

Ta-kun. 

A nickname for me? 

But I hadn't even told her my name yet.

"My name is Naota. I am not my brother."

She regarded me through hooded eyes for a moment. Then with her free hand, she took hold of the camera that dangled on her chest and took a picture of me.

"I'm bored, Ta-kun. Let's go do something."

She led me to the bridge. Her fingers loosened their grip on mine as we got nearer and nearer and by the time we reached the massive structure she wasn't holding my hand anymore.

I watched her run and disappear into the darkness under the bridge. 

I didn't follow her.

"I think I'll go home." I said, turning around to leave.

"Don't leave me."

I stopped walking when she said that -- not sure of what to say or do.

She walked towards me and enfolded her arms around my smaller body -- crushing my face to her chest.

I could smell her faint perfume, mixed in with the scent of nicotine and tar. 

Her heart beat loudly against my ear -- a regular rhythm, as though nothing out of the ordinary was happening. 

The softness of her pressed against my cheek.

She allowed me to pull back slightly and let her head drop until her lips touched my ear. She kissed my earlobe.

"Don't leave me."

Her voice, the same soft whisper tickled my ear. I shivered slightly. Her hands moved up my spine and caressed my hair.

"I don't want to be alone."

Her lips moved lower, touching the pulse at my neck -- kissing it.

"I'm not even twelve."

I heard her smile -- that sudden expulsion of breath against my neck.

"I'll leave my mark on you."

She nipped at my neck, licked it and then sucked the inflicted area.

"I'm supposed to take care of you. I don't think this is the proper way."

She stopped, lifted her face until our eyes were level.

"This is the _only_ way."

***

"I received a letter from my brother today. Did he write to you, too?"

"Ta-kun, lend me some money. I want to get us a drink."

I dug into my pockets and tried to sort and pick out the coins and handed them to her. "I don't like sour stuff."

She dropped the coins into the slot and pressed a button. I sighed in exasperation as a can of the sour soda rolled out.

"I'm thinking of bleaching my hair. Will that make me more American, Ta-kun?"

I knew then that my brother had not written to her.

"Mamimi--"

"Here." She handed me the can.

I looked at the can and saw slivers of her saliva glistening on the edge.

__

If I drink from this, it would be like kissing her.

My brother had been gone for only three weeks and here I am, contemplating "kissing" my brother's girlfriend.

Disgusted, I tossed the can aside -- the drink fizzled as it came into contact with the pavement. 

"I told you I don't like the sour stuff."

Mamimi grinned -- fuzzy interest flickered in her eyes.

__

What is she thinking about? 

Like quicksilver, she covered the ground between us and kissed me. Kissed me hard. Her lips mashed against mine -- her tongue rubbed my lower lip, demanding entrance.

I couldn't breathe. My heart was beating at a thousand times per second. 

__

Did she know what I was thinking?

In the next instant, she pushed me away.

I looked at her -- the question in my eyes. _Why?_

She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Trust me. You'll grow to like the sour stuff." 

***

****

Author's Notes:

  1. Mamimi calls Naota "Ta-kun." This could be taken as either a nickname for him or his brother (Tasuku) -- my take is that Mamimi deludes herself into thinking that she still has Tasuku in the form of Naota. (She loves him. She says so to Naota in the first episode of the OAV.)
  2. Is this going to be a love story? Yes. At the heart of FLCL is love, which is the driving force behind each character. Each one searches for a different kind, but it is still love.
  3. This prologue is written in the first person but the rest of the story will be written in the third person. I did this, consciously, because I wanted to show, in my prologue, what goes on in the mind of a 12-year-old in the midst of his curious circumstances.
  4. This is still pre-OAVs. The next chapter is going to be about what happens after the OAVs.
  5. The soda can scene is a recurring scene in the OAVs. I thought it was very symbolic and representative of Naota, which is why I included a soda scene in this fic.
  6. The titles "Lost for You" and "In a Boy's Dream" are lines from "Crash into Me" by Dave Matthews Band.


	2. Part One

The International Summer Schools ****

Part One

It was the summer of the year he turned 13.

He had not seen Mamimi since the day she left six months ago.

Naota strapped his gear on the moped. He would be gone for most of the summer. 

He was going to look for her.

Six months ago, just before the seasons changed, before the leaves turned red and then brown, something amazing happened to Naota.

He became a man.

His brother was right. His bastard of a brother who decided to stay permanently in America was right.

Naota looked at the yellow moped in front of him. After the last encounter at Medical Mechanica, he found the moped in the garage -- a parting gift from Haruko. A moped similar to the one she rode.

Use this. Haruko's last words to him, scribbled on a little card tied to the handle of the moped. 

It was six months later and Naota was going to use it to find Mamimi. 

__

I've failed you so many times before. I won't ever again. 

He could still see her in his mind. He could still remember the heady smell of her -- that unique fusion of flowers and cigarettes. He wanted her back. He wanted to return to the cocoon of her warm, giving body.

"Hey, Nao. Here's some bread that TV-Boy baked this morning."

Naota took the paper bag of still-warm bread from his father's outstretched hand. "Thanks."

"Are you sure you have enough money? Do you have everything you need?"

"Yes." He stuffed the bag into his knapsack. "Dad?"

"What is it?"

"Thank you for understanding that I have to do this." He rubbed his head, relieved that there were no more strange growths protruding from his skull.

Nandaba Kamon laughed. "Of course I do. Haven't we seen enough anime that had the lead character go off on some important quest? THIS is your quest. Just make sure you're back before school starts."

Naota could barely keep up with his father's rapid-fire remarks. He smiled gratefully. "Well, I'm going now. Say goodbye to grandpa for me."

"Go. We'll be okay. There's a summer-long marathon showing of Lupin on television starting tonight. See you in a month!"

He took one last look at his home before leaving. He had one more stop to make before he would start looking for Mamimi.

***

"How long will you be gone?" Ninamori Eri asked. 

She wanted to tell him to stay.

"I don't know. I guess, until I find her."

__

But you have me. "Well, take care and try to stay out of trouble." She tried to sound bored, disinterested, unaffected -- adult.

"I'll drop you a line from time to time."

__

I'd love that. "You don't have to. It's okay." She shrugged her shoulders and looked away.

"Well, I'll be going now." 

She watched him ride off. When she entered her house, she almost tripped on the suitcase she packed earlier that day. 

__

Idiot. Why couldn't you just tell him you wanted to go with him?

***

Naota decided to drive by the beach. _Haruko left before it got warm enough to go swimming._ He smelled the salty sea breeze that still went straight to his sinuses. _It would have been perfect now if she were around._

He perched on the fence overlooking the ocean. Smiled in amusement when he discovered that he could no longer dangle and swing his feet because they now touched the ground.

He experienced a growth spurt about two months ago. The short pajamas suddenly became too tight and too small. He couldn't sit up on his bed without banging his head on the bunk above.

__

Would Mamimi still recognize me, I wonder.

He pulled out the rolled up lifestyle magazine from his back pocket. It was last month's issue and contained several photographs by Samejima Mamimi.

At the bottom of the full-page spread was a brief descriptive profile and a picture of the photographer.

Samejima Mamimi, age 18. Origins unknown. Voted Outstanding Young Professional Photographer of the Year. 

Her hair was tied back in a bun and her once pale cheeks and lips were rosy with health -- a small smile curving her mouth. 

He took out the only picture of her he had -- the yellowed Polaroid his brother had given him before he left one year ago. It was crumpled from being kept in his pocket too long. 

Take care of her for me. That was the last decent thing his brother ever did for Mamimi before he left her in Naota's hands and forgot about her. 

Naota placed the two images of her side by side. _It's still the same girl, with the same beautiful eyes. It's still her._

From the short article written about her, Naota found out that Mamimi would be touring around the country this summer to take some pictures for a book she was publishing.

He knew he had to go to her -- knew he had to see her and tell her.

__

I'm in love with you. He said it to the wrong person last time. He wasn't even sure if it was him or the other being inside him, Atomsk, who said it to Haruko.

That last encounter had been reduced to hazy images fragmented in his memory. He had no memory of what happened to the Medical Mechanica factory. His only proof that it did happen was TV-Boy.

In the distance, he expected to hear the blast of smoke from the factory that loomed over the town. It didn't anymore.

The factory still stood there on the hill, but it was inactive. It no longer clouded the town in smoke.

***

He reached the next town a few hours later. The moment he crossed the border between his town and this one, he felt the exhilaration roar in his veins. He never imagined he would one day find himself outside of his town.

At one point, he had almost forgotten that there was life beyond his hometown. Haruhara Haruko reminded him that there was -- the child-woman with pink hair and amber eyes had shown him how to live.

Naota went to a nearby convenience store to buy dinner -- instant noodles and soda. The last time he went on a short road trip with Haruko, he had subsisted on the same food.

He spotted the poster advertising Mamimi's exhibit on the glass panel behind the checkout counter. There was a picture of her holding a camera in her hands.

"Are you familiar with her works?"

Naota nodded at the boy behind the counter. "I know her."

"Really? Do you think you can get me her autograph? She's so cool!"

Naota laughed nervously. "Well, I haven't seen her in a while. I don't even know where to find her." He could feel his cheeks burning red.

"You just missed her. She stopped by hours ago to pick up some instant noodles."

He dropped his bag of food -- the styrofoam container of noodles landed on the floor with a dull _thok_. 

"She's here?" He didn't expect to find her this soon. He didn't think he was ready to see her.

"Not anymore. Like I said, she just stopped by for some stuff."

He took out a 500-yen coin from his pocket. "Here. Thanks."

Naota picked up his stuff from the floor and hurried out of the store -- oblivious to the shouts of the checkout boy.

"Hey! You forgot your change!"

__

So close. He looked up and down the empty street -- searching for traces of her; proof that she had ever been there. 

He found none.

"Damn." He whispered into the void.

***

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Author's Notes:

  1. TV-Boy is the first robot to come out of Naota's head. I debated with myself whether I would refer to him as "Terebi-kun" or TV-Boy (Gainax translation).
  2. Ninamori Eri is the class president of Naota's class.


	3. Part Two

The International Summer Schools

When the alarm went off, Naota awoke. 

He brushed his teeth and washed his face -- everyday routine for the past twelve years.

But it wasn't an ordinary day for him.

Life had stopped being ordinary the moment Haruhara Haruko crashed into it one week ago.

Naota glared at his reflection. "How am I supposed to hide this?" He cautiously touched the new growths on his head.

Unlike the first horn, this one was sticking out in two places, one smaller horn-like bump on his forehead and a bigger hook-like protrusion from the back of his head.

"People will think I'm some clumsy kid if I show up with two bandages on my head."

"Whatcha doin'?"

He glared at her -- this woman who claimed she was from outer space; this woman who looked and acted like she was from outer space.

"I'm trying to figure out how to hide these." He muttered through gritted teeth.

She didn't seem bothered by his angry tone. Haruko continued to roll around his bed -- exposing her nakedness now and then. 

"Stop doing that. You act like a kid. Why don't you act your age?"

Haruko sat up on Naota's bed. Her head grazed the bunk above her. "What about you?"

"Shut up. Leave me alone. None of this would be happening if you were paying more attention to the road. Damned irresponsible adult."

He didn't feel his usual apathy that day. 

Somehow, everything seemed to irritate and aggravate him.

He thought about Mamimi. "Some protector I turned out to be." 

He thought about Haruko -- the childish woman who was staying in his room. He could see her amber eyes in his mind -- those cynical, I've-seen-it-all eyes that always looked at him in bittersweet amusement. "What is she hiding from me? What does she want from me?"

Naota heard the Medical Mechanica factory expel smoke and knew it was time to go to school.

It was like clockwork and he was a puppet that went through the automatic motions of daily living.

But life was no longer ordinary for Nandaba Naota.

***

****

Part Two: 

Ninamori Eri paced the length of her house -- the sound of her footsteps the only sign of life in her home.

__

How hard would it have been to ask to come along? 

Fool. Coward.

The phone rang.

She was torn between throwing her slipper at the phone on her mother's expensive Italian side table or simply yanking the cord out of the wall. 

She knew she would be able hit the phone and knock the receiver off the cradle -- the many nights of practice had ensured that.

The phone continued to ring.

With a groan she walked over to it.

"Hello. This is the Ninamori residence."

"Ninamori? It's me."

She nearly dropped the telephone when she identified the voice.

"Naota? Is that you? Where are you?"

Naota looked around him. "I'm not really sure where I am. I know I'm about a few hours away from you." 

He had never learned his geography -- it was never taught to them. It wasn't necessary knowledge, since no one was expected to leave their town.

"Have you found her?"

She heard him sigh. Her own heart seemed to beat wildly in anticipation of his answer.

"No. Not yet. I was close, though."

Eri exhaled -- only then did she realize that she had been holding her breath since she asked him the question. 

"What do you mean?" She struggled to keep her voice even and filtered out all the elation and relief she felt inside.

"It seems that she passed through this town just before I did. She even stopped by the same convenience store and bought the same brand of instant noodles as I did."

__

Is that tenderness I hear in his voice? "That's too bad."

"I'll keep looking for her."

"Why? Don't you think this is some sort of sign? Why don't you just come home?"

She couldn't believe she'd said that. "What I mean is--"

"I appreciate the concern but I have to do this. I'll be fine."

"But _why_ do you have to do this?"

"You wouldn't understand. Maybe in a few years you will. When you're older. When you finally find someone who makes you feel... " He was quiet for a second. "You wouldn't understand."

She wanted to laugh -- wanted to tell him that she _did_ understand, perhaps more so than he did. She wanted to tell him that she _had_ found someone who made her _feel_. 

Instead, she said nothing.

"I have to go. My three minutes are almost up. I'll call again soon."

"Okay." Eri heard the distinctive click that signaled the end of the conversation -- and the beginning of her endless wait for his next call. 

She replaced the receiver in the cradle and started to wipe away the smudge marks she had inadvertently left on her mother's expensive Italian side table -- knowing that, when her mother returns -- _if_ her mother returns, she would meticulously inspect the table for such marks.

__

I am so pathetic.

***

Perhaps it was the air -- the absence of the ever-present fumes that seeped from Medical Mechanica.

Perhaps it was the way the stars twinkled, unhampered by the thick white smoke that was the breath of the structure that loomed over his town.

Perhaps it was just him.

Naota stared up at the night sky. He shifted uncomfortably on the park bench where he lay. 

He wanted to go home.

In the shadows of night, with everything covered in darkness, Naota felt the cold different-ness of where he was. He realized then why no one ever left their town. He closed his eyes, hoping to block out the world, hoping that, when he opened his eyes, he would find himself back home -- home where it was safe and familiar. 

__

Where are you, Mamimi?

Naota knew he had to find her and bring her home with him. He never even considered the reasons or the logic of his actions -- he just wanted her with him.

__

This must be how Haruko felt when she lost him. He excavated memories of his time with Haruko. He opened his eyes and smiled.

__

I wonder if she's found him by now.

Him. Atomsk -- the Pirate Lord, the alien being whom Haruko loved and pursued across galaxies and time. 

He raised his right arm above his head and looked at the metal cuff on his wrist. It was a legacy from his encounter with Haruko and her extraterrestrial world.

There were nights after that final incident when he would stay up late at night and wait for the cuff to vibrate -- the same way Haruko's cuff became agitated whenever a robot was ready to appear: infinite nights of disappointment and frustration -- of Naota waiting for a sign from Haruko. 

It was another one of those nights. Naota lay there on the park bench, staring up at the sky and waiting for a sign. 

__

I never got one in the past six months. Why should I get one now?

Naota clasped his hands behind his head. He tried to make out the constellations above him. 

__

My life has no such maps.

He sighed and closed his eyes once again. This time to sleep.


	4. Part Three

**Part Three**

The camera felt awkward in his hands -- boxy and stiff.  

He raised it up until he could peer through the viewfinder and the street sign in front of him came into focus.  When he was satisfied with the angle, he pressed the button down and heard the camera mechanism whir. 

He had often wondered what Mamimi saw through her camera -- whether the world looked better through the lens; whether the filter somehow separated the world's pollution from the purity and if that was the reason why she always had a camera with her.  

Now he knew it didn't.

But he liked taking pictures.  

He liked capturing images and owning them.

He stuffed the disposable camera in his backpack and continued to walk -- his Vespa safely parked by a convenience store where he stopped by earlier for food.

He was in another place, another town -- similar to the other towns he had passed through; different from the other towns he had passed through -- he didn't care.  

It didn't matter anymore. 

He turned the visor of his baseball cap forward until it shielded his eyes from the bright glare of the midday sun.  It was also a useful way for him to hide his face from the strangers that surrounded him. 

He passed by a bookstore and saw they had a display of Initial D manga.  He vaguely remembered his father talking about how popular it was.  

Naota decided to take a picture of the display.  He pulled out his camera and took care not to let the light reflecting from the window mar the shot. 

Click.  Whir.  

Naota continued walking -- not really knowing where to go or what to do next.  

_I need a map... but a map to where?  I don't know where she is.  _

He was wandering aimlessly -- going up a street, going down the same street; circling the same block over and over.  It didn't really matter: he didn't bother looking to see where he was or where he was going.

The realization dawned upon him days ago, when he was in yet another town.  Why was he searching for her?  What possessed him to leave Mabase to go and look for her?

He didn't have the answers to his own questions.  The truth was that he _never_ did have a reason – he had hoped to find one during his journey.

It has been over two weeks since he embarked on his adventure, and he still didn't have his answers.  Deep down, he knew that he would never find them.

His most recent conversation with Ninamori Eri did not help either.

* * *

_"If she wanted you to find her, Naota-kun, she would have made sure you did so."_

_"I don't understand what you mean by that."_

_"I don't think she wants to be found.  She did say goodbye already."_

_"But I wasn't able to say goodbye to her.  I don't think that was fair of her.  She didn't give me a chance to tell her—"_

_"Tell her what?"_

_"I would have wanted to say goodbye to her personally.  I wanted to see her face and know for certain that she really wanted to leave.  That's all."_

_"When you do find her, what will you do?"_

_"I don't know."_

_"Then why are you doing this?  Why don't you come home?  I—we're all worried."_

_"I can't yet.  I don't know why I'm doing this, but I do know that I have to do this." _

* * *

And then he saw it. 

A poster of himself -- the same image that was published in a magazine weeks after Mamimi left.  His heartbeat drowned out every other sound.  _This is... He had seen this image of himself so many times before: him -- facing the sun, standing on a pile of rubble with a guitar in hand.  _

He pressed his hand on the glass -- reverently and stood there.  The memories came flooding back.

**_baseball_**

**_whosoever masters the left, masters the world_**

**_cigarettes -- ... knows best_**

**_earlobe -- overflow_**

**_                        white smoke = evil omen_**

**_sour stuff_**

**_                        super-hot curry sandwich_**

**_            loaves of bread_**

**_                        How much do you love my brother?_**

**_                        loaves of bread_**

**_guitar -- Vespa_**

**_            lost shoes_**

**_                        Angel_**

**_Firestarter_**

**_                                                Endsville_**

**_            school festival_**

**_star -- Princess_**

**_            Puss in Boots_**

**_                        Mayor's daughter_**

**_            glasses = contacts = pajamas_**

**_sniper_**

**_1961 Gibson EB-0_**

**_popsicle_**

**_watergun_**

**_I thought you liked me too!_**

**_Sayonara, Naota-kun._**

"What are you thinking right now, Ta-kun?"

_That voice.  _

Naota was afraid to turn around, afraid even to look over his shoulder and find out that there was no one there.  

"Are you real?"  He asked the familiar image reflected on the glass window.

He felt arms brush past his shoulders and hands resting on his chest.  He felt soft, moist lips kissing his ear, his neck, his cheek.

"How long has it been since I left my mark on you?"

"Are you real?"  He turned around, disengaging himself from the tender embrace, and met her eyes -- no longer needing to tilt his head back in order to make eye contact. 

She stepped back and rested a hand on her hip.  "You've grown up, Ta-kun."  She tilted her head to one side.  

She was studying him -- he knew this.  She was waiting for his reaction and watching his every move. 

"You might swallow a fly if you keep your mouth open like that."

He realized then that his mouth was wide open and quickly shut it.  He stared mutely at her.

"Want to come in, Ta-kun?  I have an exhibit of photographs inside."  She walked toward the entrance of the building and pushed the door open.  "Well?  Are you coming in or not?"

He frowned.  _There's something different about her.  He looked at her face, trying to discern whether she was happy to see him or not.    _

"Do you know how long you've been standing there, with your hand pressed against the glass?"  She leaned against the door, her arms crossed against her chest.  "About ten or fifteen minutes.  You couldn't be bothered.  I don't think you even realized that it was a busy street and there were people passing by."  

She laughed softly, feather-like -- the sound drifted and faded into the air.  "It was a good thing I decided to stop by to check the exhibit today.  Otherwise, who knows how long you would have stood there."  She shrugged her shoulders.  "Probably the whole afternoon and evening."

He continued to stare at her.  _Sayonara, Naota-kun._

"Ta-kun, are you coming in or not?"

With shaky fingers, he took out his camera and wound the film advance wheel until it stopped.  "Smile, Mamimi."  He took aim and pressed the button.

Click.  Whir.

Naota stood there and looked at her for a minute -- memorizing her face.  

_It's the same girl, but she's a different girl.  _

He'd been wrong to think that she would still be the same Samejima Mamimi he'd first met at the airport; he was wrong to think that six months wasn't enough time for her to change and become a stranger to him.

He looked into her eyes.  

They were no longer the eyes of the vulnerable kitten -- the lost soul she once was. Her eyes were still melancholic and thoughtful. Clear, innocent, soulful eyes, hiding a mystery begging to be solved.

But it was no longer his mystery to solve.

He realized then that, all this time, he'd been looking at her through the eyes of the twelve-year old boy who fell in love the first time he saw her at the airport.  The glow and brightness he thought and expected he'd see in her was nothing more than an echo from the past, the fading light of a dead star.

He stuffed the camera in his backpack and smiled at her, ignoring the puzzled look on her face.  

"Sayonara, Mamimi."

He turned around and walked away.

*           *            *

**Author's Notes:**

The "flashback" when Naota saw the poster of himself was inspired by William Boyd's "Transfigured Night" (a short story).  The words in the "flashback" were taken from various parts the anime.


	5. Part Four

Naota watched as Ninamori Eri's face grew furiously red.  He felt sorry for her – he knew how it felt to be the center of attention, having to deal with other people's expectations. I am not my brother and Ninamori is not her father.  He scowled at the teacher, hoping she would get the message to leave Ninamori Eri alone. But the teacher was oblivious to Naota's glare.  She continued to sing the praises of Ninamori's father, the mayor of the town, before launching into a denunciation of all that was immoral and unholy. Naota could see Ninamori flinch each time her father's name was mentioned. *           *          * 

She occupied his thoughts as he walked home from school.  _She must lead a very interesting life, being the mayor's daughter._  

He was surprised to find her hanging out under the sewers.

"What are you doing down there?"

"What do you care?  Go away."

He could hear her trying to suppress her sobs.  "Are you crying?"

Her exasperation echoed through the pipes.  "That's a stupid question to ask."

She had always had this effect on him -- making him feel inadequate, awkward.  "I – I'm sorry.  I just wanted to see if you're okay."

There was a long silence and then he heard her blow her nose.  "Thanks, Naota-kun.  I just needed to vent.  I didn't mean to take it out on you."

He pulled out his handkerchief and handed it to her.  "Here."  He watched her white hand emerge from the grate to take the handkerchief.  "Thank you."

"Umm… why don't you climb out of there.  I'll walk you home."

*           *           *

"What were you doing down there?"

Ninamori looked over her shoulder and answered.  "That's the only place I know of where I'm not expected to behave a certain way.  Down there, I can be whoever I want."

"How did you find that place anyway?  It's like a maze down there."

"My father's mistress showed me around one time… while she was mapping out her own route of escape."

The fact that the mayor of Mabase had a mistress did not surprise Naota – what did surprise him was that the mayor's daughter knew about it.  "How do you feel about that?"

"About what?  My father's mistress?"  She shrugged her shoulders.  "It doesn't bother me.  It's his damned life, right?  I'm just his daughter.  I have about as much say in this matter as a cockroach."

"I'm sure it isn't like that."

"Yeah right."  She turned around and started walking backwards.  "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"You're the only kid I know who refuses to play baseball, yet I see you carrying a bat all the time.  What gives?"

"That's none of your business."  He snapped.

"I guess what they say _is_ right.  Nandaba Naota doesn't like baseball because he's scared to be compared to his brother."

"It isn't like that."

She cocked her eyebrow.  "Yeah right."  She turned around again and continued to walk.  "We both have a lot in common, you know."

"I – I know."

***           *           ***

**Part Four**

He decided to stop by her house first.  

Naota rang the doorbell and tried to dust himself off as best he could.  The ride home to Mabase did not take as long as the ride leaving Mabase, especially because _this time he had a specific destination -- he knew exactly where he was going._

Impatiently, he rang the doorbell again.  He could hear her hurried footsteps get closer and closer.

The gate opened.  He smiled; she gasped in surprise.

"You-- you're back?"

"I'm home."

"Since when?"

"Just now.  I wanted to see you first."

"Why?"

He couldn't stop smiling.  Somehow, just being near Ninamori Eri made him feel happy.  "You've cut your hair short again."

"Yes, I have.  Why did you want to see me?"  Ninamori clasped her hands behind her back, hoping he wouldn't see them trembling in excitement.  At that moment, her heart was doing flip-flops.  _He's here.  He's home and he's come to see me._

Naota opened his mouth to say something but changed his mind.  

_Why did I want to see her first?  I should have just gone home to Dad and Grandfather._

"I-- This was a bad idea.  I should go."  He got on his scooter and started the engine.  

"I'm glad you came to see me first.  Whatever your reason was, I don't care.  I'm just glad you did."

Naota nodded, grateful that it was dark enough that she couldn't see him blush.  "I got you something.  I'll give it to you tomorrow or whenever."

Ninamori Eri smiled.  "I'll see you tomorrow."

*           *           *

Naota could hear his father and grandfather rave wildly and hurl curses at, what sounded like, a television show.  He shook his head in amazement.  _Things haven't changed that much around here.  _

"Dad?  Grandfather?  I'm home!"

He grimaced when he heard a loud collective "shush" from within the room.

Naota slid the screen door open and his suspicions were confirmed.  He found his father, grandfather and TV-Boy huddled around the television watching a wrestling match.  He tapped his father lightly on the shoulder.  "Um, Dad?  It's me, Naota.  I'm home."

Nandaba Kamon nodded rapidly in acknowledgement.  "Yes, yes, I know.  Why don't you go get your grandfather and me some beer from the kitchen.  Hurry back and join us.  This is a very exciting match.  It is an epic battle between good and ... better."

"And get some rice crackers while you're at it.  I need to keep up my strength if I'm going to cheer that limp noodle of a wrestler to victory.  Jeez, he's bad."

Only TV-Boy gave some semblance of a welcome.  The words on his screen read: "Hello, did you get me the brand of oil that I requested?  Everything is fine here.  You have a letter from your brother."

Naota paused for a moment as he tried to process how he felt about his family's welcome before going to the kitchen for the beer and rice crackers. When he returned, his father moved to make room for him to sit.  "Join us, Naota.  You will learn a lot from such a great match."

"It's okay, Dad.  I'll go take a bath first."

"Ah, you will have the ultimate bathing experience in our newly-renovated state-of-the-art bathroom."

Naota's forehead furrowed as he tried to understand his father's ramblings.  He turned to TV-Boy for an explanation.

"Your father had me install a shower curtain to make it more Western."

Naota shook his head and turned to leave.  

"Son?  I'm glad you're home.  We've been lonely without you."

Naota didn't turn around to face his father.  He nodded his head in acknowledgement.  "I'm glad I'm home, too."


	6. Epilogue: Show Your World to Me

**Epilogue**

**Show your world to me**

"Do you ever wonder whether your life is real or not?"  I asked Ninamori Eri.

She giggled -- the silver sound of her laughter borne aloft by the wind.  I wanted to run my fingers across the source of that sound, wanted to find out if it was as pure and sweet as the sound she made.

"You ask the strangest questions.  Of course life is real -- you're living it, aren't you?"

I had to smile.  She looked so sincere and convinced of her answer.  

How I wished it were true.

"Hey, Naota-kun?"

"Hmm?"  I leaned back, resting my hands on the ground as I stared up at the boundless blue sky.  "What is it?"

"Did you -- were you able to find her?"

_Her.  _

"I did."

"Oh."  

I watched her lean forward, her shirt stretched tight across her back, revealing the graceful curve of her spine.

"What happened then?"

"I said goodbye to her."  

I could see the confusion in her eyes.  

She wanted to know why I did what I did; she wanted to know why I walked away from the woman that I loved.  

_Loved.  _

I did love Samejima Mamimi -- in my own childish way, I did.  But I wasn't a child anymore and the love that I felt for her then wasn't there anymore, where it used to be.

"Mamimi has her own world now and she seems happy in it.  I didn't want to interfere with that.  She deserves to be happy."

"But what about you?  Don't you deserve to be happy?"

"What makes you think I'm not?"  

I lay back, the grass cushioning my fall.  I put my hands behind my head and closed my eyes.  "I'm happy here … with you."  

And at that moment, I realized what I needed to have said long before I embarked on my summer sojourn.  I opened my eyes and turned my head to face her.  "I'm happy here in Mabase with you, Ninamori Eri."

She smiled and lay down beside me – her face inches away from mine.  "You say the strangest things, Naota-kun."


End file.
